Monday, December 3, 2007

Somethin's Stinky

Riddled with Reality Television, once in awhile a truly despicable and thoroughly memorable REALItY is captured. Like the infamous, and now deceased God Warrior from Trading Spouses and so on. However I remember one moment that everyone but me seems to have missed, and it's totally cringe worthy and humiliating on a level that is hard to even comprehend.

The moment is from Flavor of Love (Flavor Flav's awful reality show in which he tickles the pink of the a bunch of nasty bitches, who are competing for his 'love'. The winning spot is then awarded to the gross bitch who can pretend to stomach his nasty ass for the longest amount of time). All of the female contestants are given really absurd nicknames like Deelishus and Bootz. However this moment revolves around one REAL nasty bitch who goes by 'Somethin'. During a scene where all the girls are toasting some bullshit with Flav, Somethin' can't hold in her KFC (w/Sprite no ice) and drops a big TURD on the floor. You can see her lift up her dress and squat int he following clip. Then she rushes up the stairs to the washroom, leaving more turds behind her for the others to discover.

It was REALLY hard to find this clip.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Before Courtney...there was Farah..

Before Courtney's nauseating appearance on Letterman a few years ago.. there was another trashed blonde making a fool of herself on his show. Farah Fawcett promoting her Xrated body painting Playboy video. I remember seeing this episode when it aired, and since Youtube came about..hoping it would appear on someday. Finally it has!

Famous rich blondes really DO get the best drugs.

Best moment is in clip 2, when Farah thinks the obviously fake N.Y city backdrop on Lettermans set is real.



Saturday, November 17, 2007

in the spirit of bad shape

Perhaps you are aware of the phenomenon perhaps you aren't..

It all started during lunch break at my College. A group of kids were huddled around a laptop awaiting to watch a video their friend was insistent on showing them. The reaction was a unanimous combination of gags, yelps, screams and absolute repulsion.

It turns out MANY people have filmed their friends etc. reactions to watching this horrible video and put them up, the reactions are great to watch.

The video in question will NOT be posted or linked here, but the website devoted to the filmed reactions of innocent victims tricked into watching it.

I suggest if you decide to investigate further the 'video' these people are watching you prepare yourself. It is worse than tub girl (the first internet gross out phenomenon).

The videos of peoples reactions is the amusing part, the video is NOT amusing.

the following link IS SAFE don't worry it's not the link to the gross video, but only peoples reactions to it.

SAFE REACTIONS videos

hehehe pug pee

awww my cat use to do this as a kitten

what a retard

Sunday, November 11, 2007

maybe you already know about Koko the Gorilla

but if not..watch this. Ignore miss Ching Hai and annoying host and subtitles. Koko rules. She says she loves Reggae music and romantic movies. It's a lot to watch but if you're a geek like me you'll like Koko and her brother Michael.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Progeria

Progeria is a very strange, sad disease. It occurs in one in four million births. Essentially it is known as 'rapid aging disease' wherein the lifespan is usually 10-12 years old, and the body ages at a rapid pace (ie. 12 equals 80 yrs old).



awful song, but Hayley is so cute.


Hayley

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

A short clip from a documentary (I'm trying to get a hold of) about one of the most enigmatic and groundbreaking artists in music history.

Sarah Silverman should die!



He is so tragic. Chris Crocker was something else sure, but this is guy is so sad.

Here is one of my favorite scenes in S.S season 1.

Friday, October 5, 2007

Top Ten Rock n'Roll couples according to Schramm

I have been thinking alot lately about the greatest rock n'roll couples of all time. Yeah these are the things that go on in my tiny little brain. The only rule is that they both have to be awesome and they both have to have to be musicians in their own right.

So here goes, from great (10) to greatest (1)

10. John Lennon and Yoko Ono

Sure might be a boring predictable choice, but the reality is they were in mad love. He was without a doubt awesome, and she is pretty strange and wonderful herself. She seduces him enough to leave the Beatles and pursue his own music career, they wax poetic and get policital, make babies, take drugs and write weird poetry, he is tragically killed and she goes on as the most hated woman in America and makes a strange and controversial music career for herself. All the while Yoko has maintained the legacy of John Lennon with a cool and mysterious grace.

9. Lou Reed and Nico

They would without a doubt be higher on the list had it been more than a fling. Lou Reed, while one of the most pompous legends of Rock n'Roll is still intriguing to even the most hard assed music snob. He's seen it all and done it all. Metal Machine Music? seriously. Nico is without a doubt one of the most tragic figures in the history of Rock N'Roll. A stunning beauty with the world wrapped around her finger, who wants nothing more than to destroy herself.

8. Kurt and Courtney
Say what you will, another predictable and perhaps tired choice. But fuck you it's Kurt and Courtney. As if most of the people from my generation didn't idolize either one of them in the early nineties, or maybe even both. I believe they were madly in love. They really seemed meant for one another. After Kurts untimely suicide there were two schools of thought on Courtney. One, that she is a beligerent harpy that milked her husbands death in order to gain fame and success (some idiots even believe that she killed him), the other is that she is someone with a frightening determination to succeed, even the death of her one true love wouldn't get in the way of her dreams. I tend to lean towards the latter, until about 1998 anyway. The real tragedy left behind from this romance lies in past ten years. Courtney really lost it. She had to sell part of the Cobain legacy to pay legal bills and put food on the table. She went from being an intriguing and confusing Rock n'Roll icon to a total mess. She is without a doubt second to Yoko as the most hated widow in America and the past ten years she has done nothing but make it seem rightly so.

7. Patti Smith and Tom Verlane

It might have been brief as well but what a couple. Patti Smith the godmother of Punk and Tom Verlaine of Television. Patti Smith claimed she didn't mind being domestic for Tom Verlaine and washing his clothes. I can't imagine she says that about many men. Tom may have turned out gay, but they are still close friends and have collaborated musically together. Two great, amazing legends who shared intimacy and romance and remain friends. Pretty awesome.

6. Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazelwood

Some say it happened some say it didn't. The fact is these two worked together extensively creating some of the greatest duets of all time. Lee saw in Nancy everything that she became and helped make her into a star. A star in his own right he continued to produce for her and they toured extensively together. They were said to be friends (and lovers?) until his death this past August.

5. Johnny Cash and June Carter

Maybe another boring choice? but fuck you. One of the most romantic long term relationships I can think of. She had a great voice and spirit, and he..well he is Johnny Cash. He, every mans man, a genius outsider, a true rebel... in black, begged for her hand in marriage and they stayed together until her death. He didn't last much longer without her and those closest to him claimed that he couldn't go on without her. Now that is love.

4. Ike and Tina.

Sure it may have gone sour, but they were without a doubt one of the most enigmatic and amazing couples of the 60's. She found him as a teenager and he helped her become a huge star. Yeah it got sour, but I dare you to go on youtube and look up Ike and Tina performing and not be blown away. These two were not only in mad love but made mad amazing songs together.

3. Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore

They have been married for over twenty years and have remained the quintessential couple for every disaffected, socially inept, genius art kid who knows who Sonic Youth are. They are so incredibly private about their romance it was hard to even find a picture of them together on google image search. I admire them both greatly for their contributions to art and music, and hope to one day have what I imagine they have with one another. A mutual respect and admiration for one anothers, and a true and devoted love. Rock Royalty. Prince and Princess to my number one.

2. Nick Cave and Polly Jean Harvey

The only couple (although short term) on this list who could pass for brother and sister, Nick and P.J remain one of the greatest Rock n'Roll romances of the nineties. And for me, an obsession. Both of them are indisputably two of the most critically acclaimed contemporary musicians in Rock today and they shared not only a tumultous romance, but several great collaborations. They are both incredibly private and mysterious, brooding and self involved. It didn't work because they both need someone to lighten them up. That being said, they are almost my favorite. Listen to Henry Lee and tell me they don't deserve the number 2 spot.

1. .............................................................................................................................................................................................................Lux Interior and Ivy Rorschach

My number one, without a doubt. In the late seventies Lux (Erick Purkhiser), the rebellious outsider (in black leather I imagine) picks up Ivy (Kristy Wallace) the busty nomad teenager on his motorbike and they ride off into the sunset together. Together they form the greatest rock n'roll band of all time, The Cramps. They still live together in some weird house in the California desert, full of taxidermy, guitars and plush sofas. For me it doesn't get much better than that.

BET is good for one thing.. Bruce Bruce

Just wait until the retarded kid and the Mom/Firetruck bits..
PT 1
PT 2

The point of my bad shape blog

........was to share videos and things I found on the world wide web that I found amusing, and/or disturbing and that I wanted to share with friends (and strangers too I guess). However, being in school full time, moving, narcolepsy, my addictions to sex (including necrophelia, scatty and beastie), alcohol, marijuana, prescription medication, ludes, (toe) nail biting, hair pulling (out), cable television, black people and dogfights - I haven't found time to search the net and find worthy videos and things to put up here.

So instead I am just gonna post whatever the fuck I want. In order to keep your need for bad shape somewhat satisified.

I'm the online zit that you wanna pop.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

fun fun animals

this kitty is HUNGRY!

dog loves squirrels

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Monday, July 30, 2007

Courtney and her venus fly trap pussy

courtney love scores noel fielding from the mighty boosh!??? WTF? previously it was Little Britain's David Williams? they are my favorite dudes right now! is she even a milf anymore? youtube took down the additional clip in which courtney proves she is NOT sober lately while trying to pimp her upcoming record. her second last chance if you will..

more old man Tyree (Troma Films)

everybody's favorite foul mouthed old man






and my favorite animated character on television

hello again

hello again

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

I'm gonna be an uncle.

Can't wait for stuff like this to happen.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Memories of the nineties...

Elizabeth Burkley shows her acting was ace even as a teen on Saved By The Bell..here she plays Jessie... hooked on caffeine pills...
I"M SO EXCITED! (plus dance performance at the MAX)

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Uncle weirdo

I recently found out that I will soon be an uncle. I don't really like kids all that much, but I figured I should try and start warming up to the idea of being an uncle.
I hope my niece or nephew will do stuff like this.













Monday, June 18, 2007

before wonder showzen

PREACH THE WERDZ OF GODZ

It's been awhile

I moved, was without the internet and haven't had a chance to update. But be prepared I am scouring for more bad-shape worthy material.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

RAPE MAN

This is a clip from one of my favorite television movies "The Haunted" starring Sally Kirkland. Her husband gets raped by the evil entity terrorizing the house in which they live. Hilarious! everbody knows you can't rape a full grown man (unless it's anal)

RAT MONSTER SCARES GAY DUDE

This was a pretty popular clip so you may have already seen it, but if not you're in for a treat.

Britney, Lindsay, Paris...they're so BORING!

Here are some more tragic, and much more intriguing/nauseating famous lady fuck ups.

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

1. MS. JACKIE STALLONE

She is not very famous, but definitely an enjoyable trainwreck. She is Sylvester Stallones mother and had a notorious Psychic Hotline infomercial in the eighties. Here are some of Jackie's best appearances on the tube.

Jackie enters the BIG BROTHER UK house and reunites with Sylvesters ex-wife Brigette Neilson(who also makes this list!)



(on a side note me and my roommate love to act out the above clip, we take turns being "BWACKIE, YEAH BWACKIE" but don't do nearly as good a job as French and Saunders did)
Jennifer and Dawn as Brigette and BWACKIE


BWACKIE in the eighties starring in SHAPE AMERICA with a bunch of other 'foges. They really know how to get in shape!


Jackies best bits from Big Brother UK



2. BRIGITTE NEILSEN

You may remember Brigitte as the tall blond vixen from Police Academy fame, or the sword swinging cheese of RED SONJA, or more recently her hit show with Flava Flav "Strange Love". The blonde amazon is gloriously delusional.

Here she gets in a tiff with legendary betch Joan Rivers (who ALSO makes this list!) Brigette could snap that ol' toad in two!



3. JOAN RIVERS

Well, it's Joan Rivers!? Everyone hates her except a few gay guys, if not only for spawning that sickening windbag of a daughter Melissa Rivers.

Here is Joan WASTED and rude at the Australian FOGIES (like the Oscars of Australia or some shit?)


4. TONYA HARDING

Disgraced figure skater. She also made some white trash porno with her ugly husband, and then became a boxer. She sucks at boxing too.

whiny baby at the 1994 olympics


getting her face smashed in


5. LIZA MINELLI

oh Liza. Liza and her gay ex-husband (and maybe the ugliest man alive). She really liked to beat him and who can blame her!?



kind of funny mashup


6. COURTNEY LOVE

I left her for last because she is the first person everyone thinks of when they are asked to associate "fucked up" and "woman". Some thinks she's a genius, but most think she is a pill popping, social climbing harpy. Inarguably she is the biggest, baddest, loudest she-wreck of the Century.

Appalling appearance on David Letterman.


NUTBAG on Howard Stern. Holy shit, seriously. "Is this the bathroom"?


Losing track of Frances at the Grammy's.


Courtney takes on the Queen of Pop. It's pretty funny that she throws her compact at Madonna.


Honorable mentions include Sally Kirkland, Anna Nicole Smith, Nico, Whitney Houston, Paula Abdul and Star Jones

Thursday, May 10, 2007

softy

The night the leopard lay down with the baboon.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Abortion of your dreams...

So you may have already realized I have a bit of a hard-on for Sarah Silverman, that hairy jewess. But c'mon...whose funnier?

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Robert Fagot

Future Gay Kid singing Britney and then.....

Monkeys drinking alcohol in St. Kitts! From Animal Planet...

Little People Are People too!

Little man gets arrested, and then Police officers find him a job?! (the chase scene is pretty funny)Umm, if he was a regular sized person I don't think they would have been as nice!


Little people are real people with real problems, and they too like to exploit them on television!

(best part is when the guy who gets attacked crawls like a spider)

Scene from one of my favorite films, Werner Herzog's 'Even Dwarves Started Small'
(if you are having a bad day just listen to this infectious laugh, well until the end of the clip when it's just creepy!)


Weird clip of little Indian man (or is it a boy?) dancing to stop and start eighties remix. The mom comes in and ruins all the fun, bitch.


Silly Andy Dick as Midget Wrangler..the clicker is pretty funny.


Ricky Gervais as David in the Office defends? the little people!

Monday, April 16, 2007

Joe Rogan vs. Lydia Lunch

I don't know how to feel about this.

uncomfortable.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Corey Haim - The ultimate 80s douche

The highlight is definitely his description of the music he likes, and of course hearing the music he makes! Oh, and the photoshoots.

Woah. 90s clip of him from some sad television biography. Apparently NOW he lives at Yonge and Eglinton and my friend sees him at the pharmacy A LOT.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Goodbye Sir

Calvert Deforest aka Larry Bud Melman passed away last week at 85 years old. He is that nameless face that we all know. He was so weird and very loveable. I always loved seeing him on Letterman and even in commercials! David Letterman has a nice tribute clip of some highlights at the CBS website


Thursday, March 22, 2007

If you are interested in Bill Hicks

The Legendary controversial Comedian had a documentary made about him, and it's been posted on youtube!
I'll post part 1 and you can find the rest on youtube.

Remember Janeane?

No, probably not. The matronly beauty with the "stuck in the 90s" style is a devout liberal. She has practically disappeared out of the mainstream, but in this 2003 interview on Fox News she goes head to head with a Right Wing Fox nutjob Brian Kilmeade. The interview took place just before the start of the invasion of Iraq. She is refreshingly coherent and logical. Do you miss her?

KIDS LOVE VIDEO GAMES!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I guarantee you have never seen anything like this....

WARNING EXTREME LANGUAGE AND EXTREMELY FUNNY

World Class Cat Owners

OUCH

STRANGE!

Strange choice of music for their Christmas Party? Put on your favorite dance song and turn the volume of the video down...party!

Chunks Raps

Chunks giving Reh Dogg a run for his money.

(warning kind of disturbing)

Best of Youtube CRAZY LADIES PT1

Here some of youtubes finest crazy ladies!

This angry woman doesn't like being filmed.


This girl is deathly afraid of Pickles!


911 for bad service at Burger King


The Frog Lady!


The dog bites her vagina!


Preacher woman out of breath, clearly she is possessed by the spirit of the Lord.


Woman steals her cats food!

Crazy Ladies

Here some of youtubes finest crazy ladies!

This angry woman doesn't like being filmed.


This girl is deathly afraid of Pickles!


911 for bad service at Burger King


The Frog Lady!


The dog bites her vagina!


Preacher woman out of breath, clearly she is possessed by the spirit of the Lord.


Woman steals her cats food!

Monday, March 19, 2007

MAMMA

MAMMA MAMMA MAMMA


I love you MAMMA

Feed the bears already!

Caption: These cute bears have learned to hustle people for free snacks

MCDONALDS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE AS A KID!! SWEET AND SOUR SAUCE PLEASE!




this one is kind of fucked up...why is she naked? strip searched? wtf?

Birdie has a dirty butt!

Birdie has a dirty butt

Add to My Profile | More Videos

David Letterman appearances you might have missed but should see! (Quality varies)

Harmony Korine 1 and 2



Crispin Glover 1 and 2



Nina Hagen


Frank Zappa


Captain Beefheart


.......now I'm stoned and think you should see this (preferably stoned)

Read caption by the person who posted the video FIRST:

So, I rarely watch Late Night, because David Letterman annoys the fuck out of me! But last night I was fucking around with my computer and wasn't paying attention to what was on. I glanced over and I see this guy and this girl sitting behind him, both making the weirdest reactions to stuff that was sad. As tho they could feel that they were on camera, and needed to play it up a bit.
Anyway, enjoy, the lady is just crazy, the guy has some funny facial expressions, especially when the woman says her last name is Jezzick...wtf?


I've been laughing so much at these idiots 'I might be on TV' expressions. People are so tragic.

Wild Tigers I Have Known

I am very excited to hopefully one day see this film!

Best of Youtube

Check out this music video for 'Why Must I Cry' created by Reh Dogg which is spreading like wildfire.


The CREEPY part (ok, creepiest) that you may miss (especially if you can't sit through the entire 'song') is a fast flip frame of Reh Dogg with what looks like a gun (the one he gallantly aims at the camera earlier on in the video) in his mouth suicide style. I have never seen anything like this.

Inland Empire and all things Lynch

The latest David Lynch film Inland Empire is receiving mixed reviews from both critics and fans. It is no surprise to anyone that Lynch's latest opus has been met with both adoration and disappointment. Art in Hollywood is a rare occurrence. Using digital video for the first time Lynch has created what has been hailed as a work to admire.

Here is one of the previews available online:


(Notice the amazing song was created by David Lynch for the film and will hopefully be included in the soundtrack, which also includes songs from Etta James, Beck, Nina Simone and the brilliant Polish composer Krzysztof Penderecki)


The next theatrical release dates are as follows:
Milwaukee WI 23-Mar
Asheville, NC NC 23-Mar
Stamford CT 23-Mar
Columbia SC 30-Mar
Keen NH 30-Mar
Williamsburg VA 21-Apr

and the following international release dates according to imdb.com

Netherlands 5 April 2007
Portugal 5 April 2007
Japan 7 April 2007
Finland 13 April 2007
Germany 26 April 2007
Poland 27 April 2007
Russia 5 July 2007
Czech Republic 12 July 2007

No word on the Canadian release date!?

ALSO check out this amusing clip of David protesting an Oscar nod for Laura Dern. CHEESE IS MADE FROM MILK!

Welcome to Bad Shape

Welcome to Bad Shape!

Welcome to Bad Shape

Welcome to Bad Shape!