Sunday, December 14, 2008

Monday, December 1, 2008

Monday, November 24, 2008

Before there were blogs to slam Celebrities...

Remember Stuttering John from Howard Stern? Dennis Pennis from the BBC? Who else these days has sincere contempt for celebrity culture and is not AFRAID of calling out a so called A-lister FACE TO FACE? The need for embarrassing celebrities has never been greater!

Sure, long before these bozo's there were tabloid writers and columnists like Liz Smith et al...but you know what - contemporary celebrity dissing via safe distance has reached a new level with blogging. You can say as many mean things about any celebrity with no repercussions from the safety of your laptop parked at Starbucks.

Do you think that fat bitch Perez Hilton would EVER have the balls to slam anyone face to face? He is too busy sucking expensive Call Boys cocks and fucking his dog to do much else than throw shit parties with shit musical guests and draw WindowsPaint cum drops on stolen paparazzi photos of celebrities. Boring.

Anyway here are some face to face celebrity slams from both pre-blog celebrity slammers Stuttering John and Dennis the Pennis.





Thursday, November 20, 2008

Now for the second part of my post.

Well you have heard of Gayface - an extremely gay looking face. But have you heard of Pedoface? It's a pretty awful and accusatory term I know AND after seeing almost every episode of To Catch a Predator I know that pedophiles and pervs come in all shapes, colors and sizes.

HOWEVER, every once in awhile I see a face that give me the pedo-hebejebes. A face that just looks perverted - you know? For instance, the diddler character in Todd Solondz opus HAPPINESS was cast perfectly. The actor playing the Pedo HAS Pedoface. See for yourself.


"there's blood in my b.m"

It's something in the eyes, something smushy in and feminine about the features. Well the reason I brought this up is that the much beloved Mr. Rogers as mentioned earlier had pedoface as well - being the host of a childrens show just adds to the creepiness (and very Todd Solondz-y).

Below is a picture of Mr. Rogers and others who I believe suffer from the epidemic known as Pedoface.




MCFEELY AND THE THE SLUTTY GORILLA

Remember the phenomenon that was Koko the Gorilla!? She was trained to communicate using American Sign Language and knows over 1,000 signs, and can understand over 2,000 words spoken in English.
(Fun Facts: According to Wikipedia Koko was involved in three sexual harrassment lawsuits by former trainers. Apparently Koko likes NIPPLES, alot.

Anyway, when your a celebrity other celebrities want to meet you - so Koko has gotten the opportunity to grab the crotches of stars like Robin Williams, William Shatner and Leonardo DiCaprio.

Her most notable celebrity friend is none other than the late, Fred Mcfeely (for real) Rogers otherwise known as MR. ROGERS.

Here is a lovely photo of their encounter.

And some lovely video footage of Mr. Rogers being cradled by the horny Gorilla lady.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Another addition to my CRAZY LADY posts.

I have no idea what is going on here? Spiritual sing-a-long, the all seeing eye, filthy hippies? I don't know. She gives me the hebejebes.

Senator Robert Byrd loves the term...BARBARIC!

According to wikipedia, Robert Byrd is the oldest living member of the United States Senate (he is 91 years old!). He is also a former member of the Klu Klux Klan!? However he claims to have long since changed his views, and openly supported Obama in the past election.

He is also often spotted by cameras as asleep during Senate debates.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Dog Fuckers...

In a documentary about Beastiality two women describe fucking dogs. Seriously.
(around the 2:20 mark)

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Zwarte Piet

Tomorrow everyone is dressing up, so in the spirit of dressing up check out the Zwarte Piet out of the Netherlands!




Thursday, October 16, 2008

the inevitable....!

SKIP TO 2:45 mark and enjoy!

Thanks to Graydon.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

over-dubbing GI Joe

Expect some Overdubbing from yours truly in the next little while. In the meantime..



Mesmerizing, the facial flex


(thanks Adrienne)

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Politics and pricks

I know it may seem ridiculous for me to post videos about politics, considering my last post was a kitty queefing - however! I don't know WHO views this blog, but I like to think it is people who give a shit about the upcoming elections in Canada and the U.S.
That being said it's also a forum to share things with people they may have otherwise missed. So here it is.
Janeane Garofalo has become an increasingly relevant and respected mouthpiece for the Democrats. I am with the majority in being turned off by actors and musicians who make political statements in order to get attention, but judging by her fledgling acting career she is certainly not benefiting financially from her political endeavors. She is engaging, incredibly well informed and most importantly passionate about the things every decent person cares about.
Recently she was a panelist on the Bill Maher show along with Salman Rushdie and douchebag writer John Fund. Here is a clip from the show (which can be seen in it's entirety along with a short visit from Roseanne Barr on youtube)

Sunday, August 24, 2008

oh no

this had me laughing (again, probably not so much were I not stoned)

It's Hilary first video so 'be nice' in the comments. Thanks.

another future gay on his way!

Lovely little fella does his best Mariah impersonation (definitely a future American Idol contestant!)

(don't go read the incredibly ignorant responses to this video from the douchebag viewers of ebaumsworld here

fun times for all y'all

I've gotten some slack for recent posts on here, so in response to my questionable character here are some videos we all will appreciate (especially under the influence of mary j). Some genius called SailorsPlayhouse on youtube has taken some of the worst, weirdest and waajdlksfjnvaowien movies ever made and removed all the least interesting parts and left the best for us to watch. To better understand please enjoy the following clip from Mannequin 2 (yes, a remake of the original Mannequin which made Kim Cattral from Sex and the Clitty a b-list celebrity).

(my favorite part is when Count Hunchenpretzel is greeted at the airport by the fumbling fat man who can't look past his hairy mole! there were a lot of scenes involving hairy moles in eighties movies weren't there?)

And this clip from the film Reform School Girls starring the late, great Wendy O'Williams from the seminal shock rock band The Plasmatics.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

We've come a long way, baby.

The infamous 1941 banned cartoon by Walter Lantz (creator of Woody Woodpecker.) Salvaged from poor quality copies and digitally restored for Historical and Educational purposes.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

really bad PSA about child abuse

This creepy old diddler keeps finding creative ways for the little boy to take his clothes off in this Kids Network Public Service announcement to prevent diddling.

WARNING - not for the faint of heart 2.

Man dies on LIVE television

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

WARNING - not for the faint of heart!

microphone gets rammed into mouth! uuuugh!

Best of YouTube CRAZY LADIES PT2.

of course the CAT LADY!

mexican rant!


"fuck you, fuck you in the ass!" (gets good at about 2:08)


woman pretends to be hit by car!

SLOWED DOWN LAUGH

HILARIOUS! I can't get enough.

via Graydon at OMGBLOG

Monday, July 28, 2008

The Addiction (1995)


I first saw The Addiction when I was fifteen years old. My much cooler, older friend and I rented it from the local video shop and watched it in the basement of her parents house, stoned and enthralled. I never forgot it and desperately sought it out as an adult. It took me years to find a copy! No video store had it in stock, or even in their database. Finally, I found a used copy on EBAY.

It's been over ten years since it's release and the film has still not been released on DVD. It's pretty rare that a film doesn't make it to DVD, and pretty shocking this particular film hasn't - considering you can find the entire film catalog of some piece of shit like Lou Diamond Phillips on DVD.

What is even more fascinating about this film is the strong reactions and notoriety the film receives to this day from people who have seen it. There were no mixed reviews upon it's release, it was either loved or loathed.

D.I.Y cult director Abel Ferrara's career has been met with as much extreme reactions as this film. He made his name with cult classics Driller Killer, Ms.45, Bad Lieutenant and King of New York. He is also responsible for some real duds like Madonna's Body of Evidence.

Powerhouse Lili Taylor (I Shot Andy Warhol) plays Kathleen Conklin, a moody grad student who gets attacked and bitten by a vampire, then goes on a downward spiral of addiction and depravity.

For an excellent and detailed synopsis of the film go here

If you can see past the often unapologetically pretentious script, and the soundtrack which often misfires - it's a brilliant film.

Here are a few selected clips from the film that someone just recently put on youtube. If you haven't already seen the film - first you'll have to find it, and then dust off the ol' VCR.

Kathleen confronts friend (Edie Falco) after going through some sickening "changes"

NSFW
Kathleen preys upon a young girl

Kathleen meets an ancient vampire, Peina (Walken)

Friday, July 4, 2008

crazy ghetto bitch

goes nuts on public transit (it's pretty infamous on the web now and there are even parodies of it now)

dirty drunk old slut

this guy captures the antics of a wasted, trashy ol broad making a slutty fool of herself at a bar. GROSS!!!!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

OH DIANE

old classic

That some of you may not have seen. A little girl (with Down Syndrome) learns about her period for the first time.

cuteness comeback

This woman has trained her cat to eat with a fork, spoon and chopsticks!
(the best parts are when she is washing kitties paws with song, and tells us kitties dreams in life)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Monday, June 9, 2008

dear friends

I apologize for not updating for over a MONTH! I am still alive - just been busy. Expect updates very shortly. xoxo

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

LIVE QUEEF

TURN UP YOUR VOLUME TO REALLY ENJOY THE QUEEF


CAUTION CAUTION CAUTION CAUTION THE NEXT VIDEO IS NOT FOR THE QUEEF PHOBIC
(my best friend has urged me not to post this clip but I can't resist but share it with you)

SQUEEZE JAPANESE STYLE


via Frank at OMGBLOG

legendary clip

I thought everyone in the world had seen this clip but my best friend hasn't so maybe some of you have been under a rock too. Here it is, the legendary Grape Stomper Fall.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I never tire of this clip

I always hated that show Frasier, both Kelsey Grammer and that wincing blowhard David Hyde Pierce always got under my skin. In light of Mr. Grammer being on Letterman tonight I thought I would watch/post this clip of him humiliating himself by falling off stage while giving some useless lecture, instead of tuning into my beloved Dave.

(I love the slow, creeping approach of the gaggle of assistants - and the absolute SILENCE of the lecture hall)

Monday, April 7, 2008

NOSTALGIA

Muffy was my favorite of course (F A G). I wanted to live in her little mouse hole that was decorated in pink silk and cozy mouse shit. She was the one that gave Alex life you know. She liked to rhyme too.
Sam the security guard always creeped me out with his french-fry hair. If you are over 25 I recommend getting stoned and watching clips of these old shows. Suddenly you start craving your Teddy Ruxpin and uncontrollably piss your bed.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

short film worth watching

This short film was in high circulation on the net last year, but just in case you missed it - here it is. It really is worth watching. Rabbit by Run Wrake:

the return of mr. bigmouth

Metal Dog

So weird!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

did you miss me fuckers

Sorry for not posting in a dogs age... but my life was temporarily ruined by tea bagging and having a banana shoved up my arse, actually that didn't happen to me - it happened to this DUDE!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Schramms Rock n' Roll Couples best performances PT1

Siouxsie and Budgie (The Creatures) performing Exterminating Angel at Glastonbury. Siouxsie and Budgie were married for more than 15 years from 1981 to 2007. Budgie is arguably one of the most enigmatic drummers in the history of Rock n' roll - but his excitement to perform with Siouxsie at Glastonbury is clear at the height and soon (fall) of The Creatures is clear. I bet this was so much fun for both of them.

Ivy Rorsrach and Lux Interior in the video for The Cramps "Like a Bad Girl Should". They didn't hire bimbo extra's, eternally sexy redhead diva Ivy stars in this video and it's obvious how much passion and lust Lux has for his bride. Not by any stretch of the imagination the best Cramps' song, but a really romantic testament to how much they love one another. She is his ultimate video sex icon.

Polly Jean and Nick Cave performing 'Henry Lee' on British Television. You can sense the mutual affection and admiration. This song and video lives on as romantic legend of two of the most enigmatic and influential performers of the past twenty years who have both led admirable careers with no signs of slowing down or getting boring. What a great romance this could have been from a voyeurs perspective. However Nick Cave's shameless revenge dating and collaborating with someone as clearly vapid as Kylie Minogue left PJ with nothing more to say than to question whether Kylie is a person or not "Is that a person?". Testament that most SMART straight guys pray for a girl as smart as them, but when they get them, they can't handle it and find comfort in being with someone less intelligent. Anyway, he is said to be the "man" that broke Pj's heart. But if you ask me she easily outshadows him in this song and almost everything he has done since the Birthday Party, but....

When you are one half of the most influential American post-punk band in the world, and you have ovaries you get second billing by the mainstream press. Husband Thurston Moore was behind his wife in ensuring she got the credit she deserved as a worthy contributor and founder of the legendary Sonic Youth. Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore don't like Courtney Love (anymore). This video is a great example of their love because Thurston (and Kim herself) have always made sure Kim was given equal credit as a songwriter - and this song in particular really made her stand out amongst nineties kids as more than just an element of Sonic Youth but an equal to Thurston as the leader(s) of the band. In this video she incorporates her then protege (Bikini Kills) Kathleen Hanna and once again takes over songwriting credit AND stars in the video for the legendary 'Bull in the Heather'. Kim gets to star with her shameless protege, AND make fun of the 'sell-out' Courtney .

Kurt and Courtney performing Pennyroyal Tea in 1993. One of Rock's most influential couples and there is still no (easy to fin d online) video of them performing together. Instead here is an audio clip of the two, with Courtney making it clear she is upstaged from the get-go saying "Why do you have a microphone on your guitar and I don't have one on mine?". I have never given any credit to any bogus "murder" conspiracy. I think they truly loved one another. If he had lived everyone would be hating on him as much as every other faded nineties hero and Courtney probably wouldn't be as lame as she is today. Here they are, together. I'll never forget the clip on MTV of Kurt saying Courtney was the best 'fuck' he'd ever had and showing the vicious scratch marks on his back. THAT's romance folks.

Friday, February 15, 2008

not a winner

but one of my entries was a runner up in the 'Inappropriate Children's Book Cover Contest' at cracked.com.

Check it outhere

didn't make it (but I think are funnier)

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Schramm's Women in Film PT 1.

I like my villains over the top, and dirty.

Best Villainess

Amanda Donohoe in Ken Russell's camp masterpiece, Lair of the White Worm. She plays the immortal Lady Sylvia Marsh. A snakewoman hell bent on the resurrection of the snake god she worships. I find it really fascinating Amanda Donohoe never had an interesting role before or after this film - in a way that makes this performance even better and more memorable. Amanda was the long time girlfriend of Adam Ant and is an outspoken atheist and feminist.


Diane Thorn in Ilsa She-Wolf of the S.S

Friday, January 25, 2008

creeps

I know it's really uncool to post American Idol clips but these characters are really worth watching. Equal parts, sad, creepy and funny.

OMG "I'm gonna go for actressing" and the tongue action at the end.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

SMACKFEST!

(the girl ones are more fun)

(the FAT girl ones even better)


(funnily enough there is a video out there somewhere of me doing the SAME thing with a leather glove with my old roomate, I'd love to get my hands on it)

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Monday, January 7, 2008

cats cats cats

fat lazy human impersonating cat

my life would be so much better if my cats would let me do this to them

cute sleeper

swimming cat with a dog best friend = rules!

bongo man open WIDE

crazy old man

oh my god

Sunday, January 6, 2008

WELCOME TO MY HOME!


Best on Saturday Night Live

Currently, well it's always up and down and the last 30 min. have pretty much always sucked, but Penelope is the best character on SNL.

I am too stoned to figure out how to put the videos on my blog but here is the direct link. ENJOY!

my husband don't even stand a chance...

i'm stoned and this made me laugh a lot

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Christopher Hitchens is the Keith Richards of the athiest academe





this shit can't write itself....

I first came across Ted Haggard the Evangelical in Richard Dawkins BBC series "The Root of all Evil" and was somehow not amazed or surprised he was involved in a gay scandal. It's not a strange coincidence or some phenomenon so many Evangelicals and Christian hardheads are invovlved in gay scandals. If it doesn't make you more of an athiest you are an idiot.

Here is the clip of Ted Haggard (a long time Prince of the NAE, admitting he bought meth from a gay prostitute after being referred to him for a 'massage'. Just look at the look on his WIFE's face during this clip. I don't feel sorry for her but she represents the kind of blind ignorance of other NAE members and religious right.
--------------clip info
Bush associate Ted Haggard, President of the National Association of Evangelicals (NAE), admits buying Meth from a homosexual prostitute to a KUSA-TV reporter. Says he called him for a "massage" but did neither use the drug nor have sex with the man.

Liz and her tears.



thanks Amanda.

2008